First I feel like I need to get something off my chest. I don’t think that “beauty” should be the word that we are going for here. I have to admit that I cringe a little bit with the beauty word. It just seems that beauty, well is only skin deep. Don’t get me wrong I completely agree with the sentiment. That we need to see ourselves as worthy, good, and amazing human beings just as we are. But I wonder if the beauty has too many negative connotations with it? I am wondering if by using the word beauty, it still places too much emphasis on the external and appearance, rather than what is really important.
Now that I have that out of my system, here is what else I have learned. Here is what makes me, well, me! What I really like about myself, and what I want other people to notice.
- My sense of humour. I can be a pretty funny person. I love being able to make my family laugh. I think it is a great compliment when my co-workers tell me that they are glad to have me around because I lighten the mood and put things in perspective.
- My sense of compassion. For as long as I can remember, I have been able to put myself in someone elses shoes and understand where they are coming from. At least most of the time. In kindergarten I was the one who befriended the kid who ate glue and had no friends. It makes me good at my job. I can understand and empathize with the children and families that I work where others can’t. Although others may see it as a flaw (e.g. not being assertive enough), it is one thing that I have finally accepted and love about myself.
- I forgive. I have never been one to hold a grudge. Ever. I forgive others very quickly and unconditionally. I hate feeling angry, and always have, even as a child. I don’t know if it is an effort to get out of that feeling, or a desire to make things right, but I can’t think of anyone that I haven’t forgiven for their mistakes. I lied there are two; one is my grade one gym teacher who used to pretend he was the tickle monster and chase around the gym and I was terrified of him and used to hide, and then had to take REMEDIAL PHYS ED! And the other, is my stepdaughter’s birth mother, and I am working hard on that one, but it is difficult when I see the pain that she is in, and I can’t make it better.
So those are 3 things that I really really like about myself. And I wouldn’t change for the world. Notice, not physical attributes, not “beauty”, not external. Blonde hair, blue eyes, and a nice smile doesn’t make me who I am. It is not what made my husband fall in love with me (although he has told me it was my “nice rack”). I am proud of who I am, who I have grown up to be, especially through my 30’s. But none of that has anything to do with my appearance.