I am enough.
It seems like an easy concept. To accept one’s self the way you are. How many of us still battle this? And yet should we? Why does it take up so much space in our lives?
I going to speak about women specifically here, although I am sure that men experience some of the same self-doubt and insecurities, but I do believe that women have more problems with self acceptance than men. I have been giving this a great deal of thought lately. Why are we so hard on ourselves? Why are we so hard on each other? Plus size women have to shop in separate sections and stores, thin women are labeled “skinny bitches”, and lets not even begin to talk about the competition between moms. Is it cultural? Can advertising be blamed for the images that we see, and compare ourselves to? But we continue to buy the fashion magazines and products. We could say no. We could put our collective feet down. Do we blame this on a patriarchal society, where men have the power? We make up half the population. I don’t know what the answer is. I don’t whose fault it is, or how to make it better.
I feel that we do it to ourselves in some ways. The example I keep thinking of is *ahem* female grooming habits. In many recent articles on “how to keep the magic alive in your marriage” much is made of shaving and waxing, everything. At what point as women did we decide that we need to remove all our hair except that on our heads in order to be attractive? I do not believe that looking like a pre-pubescent girl is what I should look like in order to turn on someone of the opposite sex. Why do I need to change my appearance to make him happy? We, women, put many of these pressures on ourselves. If we all stopped shaving our legs, armpits, and foo foos, men would get over it pretty quickly. If I can live my husband’s marpet (half man, half carpet) and learn to love it, shouldn’t he be able to do the same.
I also don’t want to point this out, but it is getting worse. When I was my daughter’s age (16) I NEVER would have ever thought about a bikini wax/shave. I have been to stores selling low-rise jeans that come with a disposable razor as an advertising gimmick. Women will claim owning your sexuality gives you power. But at what cost to ourselves? Where old feminists were a united front of women fighting for equality, now we are too busy comparing ourselves to others to enjoy what we have.
So enough. I’m enough, you’re enough.