You know that old adage… about new tricks and such… I hope to prove it wrong. We purchased a shiny new 2011 Jetta last week, which is to be my driving vehicle for work. There is a catch though, it has a manual transmission. I don’t know how to drive it. Last night I swallowed my pride, and went out with my dad to learn to drive a standard. I was nervous! I felt like an insecure teenager again, not sure of my own abilities. Terrified of making a fool of myself. And you will notice that I went with my dad, not my husband. He DID offer, but I decided that I would rather remain married, than take driving lessons from him. There is a reason our daughter does not have her license yet.
I tried to explain it to him last night. That it just wasn’t him. It was just as much about me and my insecurities. My husband prides himself on his motor skills, and I am not talking fine or gross motor skills, but motorcycle and car skills. He is a terrible passenger, he is nervous about everything and has been known to slam his foot into the floorboards of the car a little more than is necessary. But cars and trucks and things that go are his thing. And the thought of going out and making a total ass of myself in front of him while learning to drive stick was less than appealing. It was paralyzing. I was afraid that he would get angry at my mistakes, and then I would get flustered and make even more mistakes, or worse yet, he would laugh, and tell his friends how bad I was. I would be the punchline of a joke that I wanted no part of.
I am not sure if he understood where I was coming from, but he allowed my dad to take me out for my first lesson instead of him. Which I am sure wasn’t all that easy. As I jackrabbited the car down the street laughing, I knew it was the right choice. Not because my husband is a terrible person, but because that insecure girl inside me wants him to be proud of me.
And when I got home, he said the exactly what I needed to hear: “I am so proud of you for doing this.”
Maybe I will let him take me out in the new car this weekend.