Rest stop

I haven’t written in a while, not because I got bored with it, but because it has been ridiculously busy.  Now that school is back in and life has returned to some sort of schedule, the reality of what that means is setting in.  My son is out at Tae Kwon Do three nights a week (thank-goodness my dad takes it with him and drives him for us, but that also means he is here for supper two nights a week).  He is also involved in cross-country running at school, so we have gone to several meets all across the city.  My daughter is in sports medicine at school and therefore has to attend football practices and games usually at least 3 times a week.  On top of all that, motorcycle racing season is still ongoing, so there goes one night a week and every other weekend.  If you are adding up, that is more activities than there are nights…

Which I am fine with, as my mom pointed out, that is just part of being a parent.

What I have been surprised with is the emotional drain my new job has taken on me.  When I worked in the classroom I got physically tired, my back hurt, and people understood that.  In my new position, I am supporting parents.  Listening to their problems, trying to help find improvements.  And each case is different, each story is hard, each family pulls at my heart.  I do love it.  I do feel like I am making a difference.

But I am feeling drained.  I come home and I am cranky and selfish.  “What about me?!” I want to yell.  Dealing with family is exhausting, and I am in general, a bad person.  I drop hints that I need to be replenished, not physically, I don’t necessarily need more sleep.  I want to be important, not because someone needs a drive, or needs clean clothes, or is hungry.  But because I am me.  I want someone to just do something for me because they think I might like it, and not because I asked, or because they feel they have to.  I want to be worth the effort.

I just need a fill up for my tank.

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About mcwhclan

Mom of two, student, wife, daughter... where does one keep all these hats?
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2 Responses to Rest stop

  1. A.J. says:

    ………I’m sorry, did you REALLY just say that you are a bad person? Uh, a tad crazy, maybe, but YOU, of all people, are NOT a bad person!! Stop that, you silly person! See? Silly. Not bad. I know these things. You have every right to want to be the one being listened to and taken care of. Just because you are the Mom, doesn’t mean that the rest of the family doesn’t also need to play their part in making sure YOU are just as taken care of as they are! So screw the hints (they don’t work on males and teenagers). TELL them that you want to have someone else make dinner and clean up, that you want to do what YOU want to do for the evening, the day, the weekend…..just like they get to. You ARE special and wonderful and are worth the effort! And they DO know that……….it is just that you are also good at HIDING when you are needing reassurance and pampering. THAT part, we gotta work on. 😉

    • mcwhclan says:

      ah, yes but what I really want is for them to understand me. And therefore, I don’t have to ask. It is age old female conumdrum… “if you don’t know what is wrong, I am not going to tell you”. Gawd, I hate being that person, but sometimes I just feel that way.

      Also, on a side note, feeling much much better this week, got my tank topped up on the weekend 😉

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