If there was one thing I would like to wipe from my life, it would be doubt. I am sitting here tonight after a busy three weeks, and wondering if I have made the right choice. I returned to work, to a new job, that I was excited to start.
I am second guessing myself again.
Since I have returned to work things have started down that slippery slope at home. My daughter has been having a rougher time, and is acting out again. Nothing as serious as it was before, but the usual ugly stuff that I get tired of dealing with. Taking stuff out of my room without being asked, breaking in through locked doors while I am at work, and just having a generally pissy attitude with all of us.
I am tired, tired of worrying about whether or not I should have gotten a baby sitter for her, and tired of my sixteen year old daughter not being able to stay at home by herself. How long does it take, and how much do we let go?
To make things worse, my son, the one who cheers me up, has left for a road trip with his grandparents. I feel drained and frustrated.
And I go back to the new job where I support parents in similar places as me, and how do I face them, when I feel so incompetent?
Doubts. They suck.