I have a confession to make, that might make people hate me. Sometimes, I don’t like my children very much. There I said it. Does this make me a horrible parent? I would hope that the obvious answer is no, but I am not so sure.
There was a time when I loved spending evenings hanging out with my son, playing a game or watching t.v. Then puberty came. It turns out that adolescent children are annoying. They are at this awkward phase of not quite adult, and not a child either. With one foot in each world they try to make sense of it. And whatever my 13-year-old is doing as he tries to figure this out… It isn’t working. He is butting into conversations that don’t involve him, throwing around unbalanced opinions, and making jokes that just aren’t funny. Hanging out with him can be a test of patience. (it is bad to grab your kid and shake them while screaming “for the love of all that is holly, shut your cake hole!!” right?)
My daughter is not the sort of person I would have been friends with in high school. I actually sometimes wonder how she has been raised in our house, as her views are so different from mine that I can’t believe that she has actually lived with me for the last 10 years. She plays the helpless girl role, is grossed out easily, if she has a cut or scrape, she points it out to EVERYONE. I was the girl who wanted to show people who I could do anything, and anything a boy could do, I was in there beside them doing the same thing. I was going to say I could do it better, but most of the time that wasn’t true. We listen to totally different genres of music, like different movies, and have different tastes in clothes. I try to put others first at all times, and my daughter tends to look out for number one.
And I do understand how “normal” this all is, as they try to forge their own identities. But I don’t like it. Other people hang out with their kids, like spending time with them, and find common ground in their families. It is so hard. It is hard to be patient, and understanding. It is hard to remember what a difficult time this is for them.
Because sometimes, all I really want to do is trade them in for a chicken, and eat the chicken.