Sunday is Mother’s Day. Which always makes me think, think about being a mom and being a daughter. As I get older it is easier and easier to understand and think about what this means. Here are things that I have learned from my mom, about mothers and children.
- Your mom is NOT your best friend. This is contrary to what you might expect someone to say, but it took me years to figure this one out. My mom is not my best friend. There are things that go along with parent and child relationships that are so much deeper and complex than any friendship. I can not, for example, phone my mom and complain about what a jerk my husband is being. She is my mom, and what do mom’s want to do? Protect their children. If I don’t want my mom to hate my husband then she does not need to hear me complain about how he left his socks on the bathroom floor. That being said, the relationship between mother and child is so much more than a friendship, even if it is friendly, most of the time.
- Mom will be there even when you least expect it. Through the hardest times in my life, there has been one constant. That has been my mom. Whenever the chips were down, whether I thought I needed her or not, she was there. And even though I may not have appreciated it at the time, I can’t imagine getting through failing school, having my son, and losing my daughter without her. In times of chaos, she was calm and sturdy, if only on the outside.
- Mom’s don’t always make you happy. I learned this from being a parent of a teenager for sure! I make them miserable more than I make them happy! I also remember feeling the same way when I was their age. But coming out the other side, relatively unscathed, I appreciate all the times I argued with my parents. The times they grounded me because I was an idiot. I understand the fear and doubt after my mistakes, and the need to protect. It is also comforting to have a relationship where it is okay to be mad with one another, and know that the love is still there. To learn that fighting and anger does not mean hate, and that after the fight comes understanding and forgiveness, from which a relationship can grow.
I plan on spending most of this weekend with my mom, doing things we both enjoy, and laughing. Hard. We do that together. She is not my best friend, she is my mom. People change friends throughout their lives, but a mom is constant. We fight sometimes, but also laugh harder together than with any other person. We annoy each other to no end with our silly choices sometimes, but support each other when we need it.