One of the items in my 101 in 1001 is to answer the 50 questions to free your mind, I will not answer them all here. But I will bring up some of the ones that I actually have an opinion on. For example, question # 13 asks if you would break the law to save a loved one, and that is a no brainer. Yes, end of discussion, and not very interesting…
But number 16 asks “how come the things that make me happy don’ t make everybody happy?” My first inkling was to say “I have been asking that for years! What is wrong with people?!” But the more I thought about it, the more I realized what a good question this is, and how much it guides my interactions and relationships with other people. It goes beyond “what makes me happy” and delves into “how do I feel”. The more people I meet and interact with, I realize that what makes us tick, what makes us make the choices we make and drives our relationships is how we feel. Every action, every choice is driven by emotion. When you like someone you want to make them feel good, and this changes how you interact with them. Think of when you first start dating someone. You would go to the ends of the earth, just to make the laugh. When does this change? When do we stop doing this with our families, our friends, and even people we meet on the street?
At some point we stop thinking about how the other person feels, we stop trying to make other people feel good. I know I am guilty! I say things to my kids that I would never dare say to a stranger. And these are the people who I love the most. How often in anger do we say things to be cruel, to hurt, to get a rise out of someone? How often to we apologize for snapping at our spouse? What if we all just stopped and thought before we spoke? What if we pretended we just started dating the whole world? What would be different?
A challenge. For one day; think each and every time you speak to someone. Is what I am saying going to make the feel good? Let emotions guide our actions but in a different way.