So tomorrow is our first day of whatever it is they are going to do at the children’s mental health clinic. We have our intake session at 8:30 am. I am excited and yet still apprehensive. After last week, I am glad to at least get started. So many troubling things seemed to rear their ugly heads last week.
Recap: 15 year old daughter has a history of behavioural and emotional difficulties, and after years of asking for help, we are finally getting started.
My biggest fear is that nothing will change, everything will stay the same. At what point as parents do you draw the line? When do you say that is enough is enough and you abdicate your responsibilities. When I was younger I swore I knew all the answers… I thought that once kids reach a certain age, then their decisions are their own and they have to live with the consequences. And I still somewhat believe that is true. But what happens when you KNOW that the decisions they make could harm them? Other kids her age are getting ready to get their driver’s licenses, and we can’t leave her alone in the house because of the choices she makes. Really, 2 and half more years and she will legally be an adult, and we can’t leave the pantry unlocked because of the food she will take, and the medications we have locked up in there.
What do we do as parents? It consumes us, it holds on tightly to all aspects of our lives. What about our other child? How do we let him know that he is not responsible for the choices she makes, and the frustration we feel. How do we insulate our marriage so that we are more than just parents? How do we hold on to us?
Hopefully this is the start of something good, and we will get some answers, some help on how we are supposed to do this…